The Guest List at 90
- Barbara Stratte
- Aug 11
- 3 min read
This weekend, I threw my mom’s 90th birthday party.
She was over the moon. Glowing. Laughing until her cheeks hurt. And as I stood there watching her, surrounded by people who have loved her for decades, something hit me square in the heart:
At the end of it all, this is the point.
Not the house.Not the car.Not the title on your email signature.
It’s the people who will show up for you at 90 — even if you can’t walk as quickly, even if your memory sometimes trips — and love you like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
The Sacred Stuff
When I was little, my mom’s friends were a constant presence in our living room. I was the youngest, so I became the unofficial hostess — pushing around a gold-wheeled glass cart filled with hors d’oeuvres on monogrammed napkins.
Back then, it felt like an important job, my way to be part of the grown-up table.Now, I see it for what it really was: my first lesson in loving people well.
Those same women — the ones who laughed over coffee and dessert all those years ago — were here this weekend, hugging my mom, telling old stories, still showing up after all this time.
What My Mom’s Life Teaches Me
Ninety years.A career shaping little minds as a first-grade teacher for more than four decades.A plaque on a bench outside her school from grateful students.A family that loves her fiercely.Friends who have weathered all the seasons with her.
That’s the real gold.
We measure so many of the wrong things in midlife — the square footage of our house, how much we’ve accomplished by a certain age, how many spinning plates we can keep in the air.
But planning this party reminded me:Quality beats quantity every time.The coffee. The dessert. The people.
Your Turn
If you’re in the middle of life right now — raising kids, caring for aging parents, juggling it all until you sometimes forget your own name — I see you.
And I’ll tell you this: start building your 90th birthday guest list now.Call the friend you want there.Invite them for coffee.Send the text.Make the time.
Because one day, you’ll look around the room — like I did this weekend — and realize that these people, this love, is the only thing that ever really mattered.
💛 What about you? Who’s one person you want at your 90th? Text them today.
If you are feeling overwhelmed in the sandwich generation, you dont have to do this alone.
This journey is long, emotional, and often lonely—but it doesn’t have to be.
I’m here to walk it with you. Whether you’re just noticing the signs or knee-deep in decisions, there’s support for everystage.
How I can help you:
Book a 1-on-1 Guidance Session or a Care Chat with me at TheSandwichedGen.com. We’ll talk it through, map out a plan, and lighten the load.
📘 Want a clear step-by-step roadmap?
Get my eBook:When Roles Reverse: A Roadmap for Caring for Aging ParentsIt’s packed with practical tips to help you:
Know when and how to step in
Have hard conversations with less stress
Respect their independence while ensuring their care
Avoid the chaos of last-minute decisions
📲 And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @BarbaraStratte
I share daily encouragement, real-life tools, and truths you won’t find in a medical pamphlet.
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