Midlife Meltdowns Are Real—Here’s How I Calm the Chaos in 60 Seconds

Barbara Stratte
May 9
3 min read

Hi friend,

Let’s be honest: life in our mid-years is A LOT.

We’re juggling work, relationships, kids (or teens), aging parents, endless to-do lists—and somewhere in the middle of all of it, we’re supposed to take care of ourselves too.

Cue the overwhelm. Cue the short temper. Cue the feeling like your nerves are fraying at the edges, and you're just one group text or forgotten appointment away from losing it.

I’ve been there, heck I am there. But here’s the shift that’s helped me show up with more peace and less snappiness: emotional regulation.

Great news is it’s not some big, complicated routine. I’m all about what’s quick, simple, and doable when no one’s watching—because real life rarely gives us the luxury of perfect circumstances.

Why Emotional Regulation Matters — Especially in Midlife

When you’re constantly responsible for everyone and everything, your emotions start bubbling just under the surface. And the truth is, most of us were never taught how to process our emotions in healthy, consistent ways. Most of us were raised during the 80's so we just ahd to get through it.

Emotional regulation isn’t about stuffing it down or faking calm. It’s about knowing when you’re reaching your edge—and having a few tools to bring yourself back to center before you say something you don’t mean or spiral into exhaustion.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about presence.And presence is where peace lives.

My 2 Favorite "Invisible" Emotional Regulation Tools

These are my go-tos. No fancy equipment. No prep time. Just quick resets you can do quietly, when the chaos creeps in and you feel yourself starting to spin.

1. The Sigh & Reset

Step away (even if it’s just into the bathroom or down the hall).
Take one long, audible sigh—in through your nose, out through your mouth.
Then do box breathing:Inhale for 4.Hold for 4.Exhale for 4.Hold for 4.Repeat 3–4 times.

It’s amazing what just one minute of focused breathing can do. It clears the fog, slows your heart rate, and brings your brain out of “fight or flight” and back into the moment.

2. The 5-Second Body Drop

Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
Ask yourself: “Where am I feeling this tension?”
Then, drop your shoulders and imagine your breath traveling to that place.
Say to yourself (in your mind), “I’m safe. I can handle this.”

It’s quick, grounding, and it helps you tune back in to you—which is so often the first thing we lose in the middle of chaos.

The Washing Machine & The Butterfly

The Other Things That Help (Bonus Tools)

Sometimes I go outside and put my bare feet on the grass.

Sometimes I hug my dog.

Sometimes I take a walk and listen to nothing but my breath.

Sometimes I hug someone I love for 20 seconds and just let myself be held. (Seriously, the 20-second hug rule is magic.)

Whatever it takes to let the steam out of the boiling pot of water.

Give Yourself the Gift of a Calm Moment

If you’re feeling burnt out, discombobulated, or just emotionally raw, you are so not alone. This phase of life is full and messy and beautiful and hard.

That’s why we need tiny daily rituals to remind us that we’re still here. Still worthy of peace. Still allowed to pause.

Next time you feel the overwhelm creeping in, try one of these two tools. You might be surprised by how much lighter you feel with just a little bit of space.

Sending you a huge 20-second hug,

Barbara 💛

Want More Ease and Joy in Your Day?

Let’s keep the conversation going. Share this post with someone who needs it, and tag me when you try these tools! We're in this together—and we don’t have to carry it all alone.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

This journey is long, emotional, and often lonely—but it doesn’t have to be.

I’m here to walk it with you. Whether you’re just noticing the signs or knee-deep in decisions, there’s support for everystage.

How I can help you:

Book a 1-on-1 Guidance Session or a Care Chat with me at TheSandwichedGen.com. We’ll talk it through, map out a plan, and lighten the load.

📘 Want a clear step-by-step roadmap?

Get my eBook:When Roles Reverse: A Roadmap for Caring for Aging ParentsIt’s packed with practical tips to help you: