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Parenting Your Parents


My Mom, my youngest and me
My Mom, my youngest and me

The other night, I caught myself doing something I swore I’d never do: I yelled at my mom.Yep. The same woman who gave me life, packed my school lunches, and taught me how to parallel park.

Here’s the kicker: I wasn’t yelling because she did something terrible. I was yelling because she wouldn’t eat her chicken. Then she immediately asked me if I had a cookie. And I snapped.

Cue the guilt. The “what if that’s our last interaction?” spiral. The “dark Barb” alter ego making her dramatic entrance.

But here’s the truth: caregiving is messy. It’s exhausting. And sometimes, it’s downright hilarious.


The Car Line for Grown-Ups

Every Monday, I drop my mom off at her respite class. Think kindergarten car line, except the students are 80+. I hand her over to an angel named Susie, who volunteers to wrangle adorable, forgetful adults for four hours. They do crafts, listen to speakers, eat lunch. It’s heaven for her—and honestly, for me too.

The role reversal slaps me in the face every week:

  • She asks if I’ll pick her up.

  • I send her with her jacket (and once had to chase down a man in the parking lot because my mom walked out wearing his wife’s North Face puffer).

  • I remind her, every single Monday, that she actually likes this class.

It’s parenting your parent, complete with lost jackets, snack negotiations, and “please don’t feed the dog” lectures.


The Dinner Table Showdown

If you’ve ever begged a toddler to eat three bites of chicken, welcome to my world. Except my toddler is 89 and has Alzheimer’s.

She’ll push food around her plate, feed half to the dog, then bargain to save the rest for later. “That’s too much,” she’ll say after three bites. Meanwhile, I’m channeling every parent who has ever muttered: “You’re not leaving this table until you finish.”

Except here’s the difference: kids learn. They eventually eat the broccoli. Parents with dementia? It only gets harder. There’s no growth curve—just decline. That reality hits hard.

And yet… ask if she wants a cookie and suddenly the appetite magically reappears. Go figure.


The Emotional Whiplash

Here’s the part nobody prepares you for: the emotional ricochet. One moment you’re laughing about coat mix-ups, the next you’re grieving the fact that your parent will never again be the strong, guiding figure you once leaned on.

You wrestle with guilt when you lose patience. You lie awake at night wondering if your last words were kind enough. And you second-guess everything.

But my husband—wise as ever—reminded me: “It’s frustrating because it is frustrating.”Simple. Obvious. True.


The Big Takeaways

If you’re in the thick of caring for an aging parent, here’s what I want you to hear:

  1. You will lose your cool. You’re not a monster. You’re human.

  2. Laughter is medicine. Coat-swapping and cookie-bargaining are gifts. Find the humor.

  3. Self-care is not optional. Take the walk. Step outside. Reset before “dark Barb” comes out.

  4. Grace is everything. For them and for you. Tomorrow really can be a new day.

  5. You’re not alone. The second you open your mouth about it, everyone has a story. This is our generation’s shared secret.


Caring for your mom while raising your kids feels like living inside Groundhog Day with a laugh track and a tragedy reel running at the same time. It’s not neat, it’s not easy, and it’s definitely not always pretty.


But if you’re in this with me—if you’ve ever wrestled a jacket off your mom in a church parking lot or bartered with her over a chicken breast—then you know: the love is still there. Underneath the frustration, the laughter, and the grief. Always.


👉 If you’re juggling kids, parents, and your own sanity, I wrote an eBook for you: When Roles Reverse. It’ll save you time, energy, and maybe even your last cookie.


You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

This journey is long, emotional, and often lonely—but it doesn’t have to be.

I’m here to walk it with you. Whether you’re just noticing the signs or knee-deep in decisions, there’s support for everystage.

How I can help you:

Book a 1-on-1 Guidance Session or a Care Chat with me at TheSandwichedGen.com. We’ll talk it through, map out a plan, and lighten the load.

📘 Want a clear step-by-step roadmap?

Get my eBook:When Roles Reverse: A Roadmap for Caring for Aging ParentsIt’s packed with practical tips to help you:

  • Know when and how to step in

  • Have hard conversations with less stress

  • Respect their independence while ensuring their care

  • Avoid the chaos of last-minute decisions

👉 Grab your copy here.

📲 And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @BarbaraStratte

I share daily encouragement, real-life tools, and truths you won’t find in a medical pamphlet.



 
 
 

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