Please Don't Feed The Dog!
- Barbara Stratte
- Apr 29
- 2 min read
Updated: May 1
When you're caring for an aging parent with Alzheimer's, some days are light and full of grace. And then there are days like today.
Our house rule is simple: Please do not feed the dog. The vet has informed us that out 90 pound Golden Doodle is overwight probably due to how much he is getting fed, by my mom. But my 89-year-old mom, once the most capable and sharp woman you could ever meet, simply can't remember. We have put a sign out to help her but still everyday she feeds the dog.
Today, I watched her slip scraps to the dog — again.I gently reminded her — again.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, "I didn’t do anything. Why are you blaming me?"
And in that moment, I wondered: Who’s the crazy one here — her for forgetting, or me for still expecting her to remember?
It’s a strange, sad dance — this back and forth between holding on and letting go.
I catch myself getting frustrated over something so small… but it’s not just about the dog.
It’s about what that small thing represents.
It’s about mourning the woman who held our entire family together for 87 years before Alzheimer's slowly began to steal pieces of her away.
I ask myself, Why can’t I just let it go?
Maybe because letting go of the scraps on the floor feels a little too much like letting go of her.
So for now, I’ll sit in the sadness. I’ll let myself be frustrated. I’ll feel the loss without rushing past it.
And when I’m ready, I'll shift my focus —To the parts of her that are still here.
To the way she still hums to herself when she's happy.
To the way her face lights up when she sees me walk into the room.To the fact that, meal times aside, she is still my mom — just a different version.
As I sit here writing this, it’s becoming clear: Maybe I’m the crazy one after all…But maybe crazy isn’t so bad if it’s just another word for loving someone through the hardest parts.
And maybe tomorrow, I'll just put the dog in another room.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
This journey is long, emotional, and often lonely—but it doesn’t have to be.
I’m here to walk it with you. Whether you’re just noticing the signs or knee-deep in decisions, there’s support for everystage.
How I can help you:
Book a 1-on-1 Guidance Session or a Care Chat with me at TheSandwichedGen.com. We’ll talk it through, map out a plan, and lighten the load.
📘 Want a clear step-by-step roadmap?
Get my eBook:When Roles Reverse: A Roadmap for Caring for Aging ParentsIt’s packed with practical tips to help you:
Know when and how to step in
Have hard conversations with less stress
Respect their independence while ensuring their care
Avoid the chaos of last-minute decisions
👉 Grab your copy here.
📲 And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @BarbaraStratte
I share daily encouragement, real-life tools, and truths you won’t find in a medical pamphlet.
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